Star Sign: Aquarius

Born: Five years too late... or at least thats how it feels!

Favourite Hoofed Animal: Is it to eat, ride or look at?

Who would play you in a movie of your life and why? Brad Pitt... because if he took a bit more care of himself, he could look a bit like me!

Big night out or cosy night in? Big night in!

No one has left me star struck yet!

Favourite TV shows Big Brother, Two Pints, Smoking Room, Little Britain (before it went mainstream!), Coupling, Eastenders, Waking The Dead...I could go on! I also seem to have an unhealthy addiction to Sky News!

Help! I'm stranded and can't live without... The internet, my microwave and those lush Swedish Gallettes - the double Belgian chocolate "crisp" biscuits from Gille.

What would you do if you didn't work on the radio? Therapist... do you want to go on my couch?!

What drives you mad? Nanny state, lies, chaos, self importance and people who seem to have no regard for anyone else.

Me in 3 words: Cynical, analytical and loyal

School nicknames: I seem to remember something about foghorn... but I'm not going there! In later life I did get called 'Tony 2 Pizzas'...can't think why!

I'm sitting on the big black Mastermind chair and my specialist subject is... Madonna

At weekends you'll mostly find me... Catching up with sleep, people and telly.

When I'm feeling peckish I reach for... A take away menu and a phone.

I was so embarrassed when... I made my musical debut on the piano in school at the age of ten. It was a stark lesson in overconfidence and audience reaction.

Tonight Matthew I'm going to be... watching something else, because I hate your show!

A few words to live by... People can see more of your soul that you realise. So stop pretending.

Mostly you'll find me wearing... Whatever I can get away without ironing!

Who is your dream date? Posh Spice. Chances are she'd leave me her dessert!

Tell us something about you we wouldn't expect... In my spare time, I invent things.

What would you trade for 3 magic beans? 1 magic bean...but you'd have to give me your 3 first.

Have you heard the one about..? No.

And finally, the words on your gravestone: I asked for a b****y cremation!!!